Calling All Nice Guys: The end of a trilogy

So I have spent a few days ranting about my dating debacles and you may be wondering what exactly is it that this girl wants? Although it probably doesn’t come across in my post very well, I’m actually very easy to please. I do not have a long list of qualities I run down every time I meet a guy. I don’t care what color his hair is, although I’ve never actually dated a blond or a red head but I’m willing to try something new (haha). How much money he makes isn’t a factor either as long as he has a stable job and isn’t still paying rent on a room in his parent’s basement with the settlement money he unrightfully received from faking a neck injury after a fender bender two years ago.

I’m just looking for a nice guy. The kind of guy who doesn’t look out on the world wondering who he can screw over to get whatever it is he believes he deserves. The kind of guy that does not secretly believe women were put on this earth to serve his every desire because I’m not that great of a cook, I hate doing dishes and chances are I’ll shrink your clothes if you ask me to wash them. I know that some where out there are men who actually enjoy being in relationships and would consider themselves lucky to find a girl like me. Hey, I’m not saying I’m easy to live with but damn it I’m fun!

After we end a relationship with someone we tend to believe that there really was nothing good about them and they were totally wrong for us. However, looking at the situation rationally we realize that of course there were things that we adored about our love bugs even if those qualities were out weighed by the things we hated (wet towels on the floor, consistently late, bad BO; whatever). Someday I hope to stumble upon a man that has a peppering of all the things I cherished about my past others. I can be thankful for all the failures I’ve had because now I know who not to fall for even if the temptation is there.

I’m posting today to pass along what I have learned in hopes that you 20-something ladies out there will keep in it the back of your mind before agreeing to exchange numbers with the newest hottie.


I committed to the dark, introspective type

on and off for a few years and can tell you, they never grow out of it and spend far too much time questioning “the point of it all” to make room for a relationship. While this guy is emotionally intense and the physical intimacy may be enough to keep you coming back, the roller coaster mood swings will leave you begging to get off the ride. This guy falls in love quick which may sounds like a plus to a lot of chicas. But if he falls in love with you after a week, it’s guaranteed that he’ll also be loving his co-workers your friends and the girl working the check out at Shaws in no time flat.

PLUS: He’ll never run from the question “what are thinking”

MINUS: What he’s thinking is probably depressing enough to make Barney jump off a cliff.


The music lover, is just that. He might get you hot while he expounds upon the ground braking sound of some under ground band he’s discovered and can’t wait to take you too see. But he’ll probably leave you behind in the crowd for a chance to catch the drummer back stage and thinks that you actually enjoy spending four hours on your only free Saturday in weeks looking through old vinyl records at the local music shop. If you really do understand the significance of finding 1 of only 200 green vinyls of whatever punk band buried deep in a dusty box behind the pop music section, than you two will probably make great music together. If, however, you’re music needs are satisfied by playing spin the dial on the radio than you’ll probably spend a lot of your couple time defending your music choices against the snobbish remarks thrown at you by your honey.

PLUS: Your iPod playlists will never go stale and one day you may be watching MTV and the band you saw last summer in a dingy basement in God knows where will be debueting their new music video. You got a signed T-shirt and in a few weeks can sell it on eBay and pay off your car.

MINUS: Your emotional needs may never been quite as important as getting to a show. If you make plans for a night when Slit My Wrist (or whoever the newest hard core band is) makes a surprise appearance at the local moshing spot than you can count on being ditched.


And lastly, the career driven, motivated, responsible guy.

He probably reminds you a bit of your dad. He’ll check the air in your tires to make sure you have a safe trip on girl’s weekend and he’s not a bad cook. He’s never made a late payment in his life and he’ll probably put on track to upping your credit score. You may even find yourself maturing in ways you didn’t know were possible and you’ll give him all the credit. This guy has it all, almost…. and he’s not letting anything get in the way of securing that last little part of his life that will mark perfection, including you. He loves his family but probably enjoys hanging out with them more than you. This guy is perfect for you, if only he loved you as much as everything else in his life, including himself.

PLUS: Your parents will love him, you’ll always have financial security and you will never have to bail him out of jail.

MINUS: He’ll pick his mother over you. ‘Nuf said.

Of course one person’s perfect somebody is another person’s NO WAY IN HELL. If you take away nothing else, take this: be strong, be yourself, know what you want and don’t settle for less. It might be scary being alone and you may be afraid of turning into you neighbor who’s still single at 65 but keeps company with her 8 cats. I’d rather have cats than a man that I only like half the time.