Tip of the Day: Get The Girl

Tip of the Day: Get The Girl
It's not that hard to woo a girl. Just put as much effort into it as you do into fantasy football and you'll do great. Read installment 2 of Calling All Nice Guys

6.29.2007

News Stuff

It's Friday and you know what than means? That means I spend the day doing the least amount of work I can and still hang onto my job. So now that I have all this free time, I can ponder what I read in the newspaper this week and write smart, opinionated comments about them.

Fist up - Bush you old dumb dog, what are you saying? Who let you speak to the press without flash cards to guide you? In case some of you are in the dark about this one, earlier this week Bush spoke to the press regarding his immigration bill and said that he's heard all the rhetoric going around and wants to clear things up by saying that amnesty is when you make people pay for being here illegally and that's exactly what his bill does..... So if you're still clueless here let me fill you in one something apparently Bush doesn't even know.... Bush, at least he's been saying this all along, doesn't what amnesty and in fact that is not what this bill is about. So, Tony Snow had to come out and (I'll quote the Express here) "correct his boss" by saying no, no, no President Bush was lost without his prompts and flash cards and said exactly the opposite of what is and has been his long standing platform on illegal immigration. Bad Bush! I'd be happy to pay taxes if they went towards employing some one to walk behind Bush, and any other politicians I deem worthy, with a stick and just whack them on the head every time they do/say something worthy of a good wallop . With a leader like Bush it's no wonder other countries think Americans are unintelligent and just can't help themselves. For heaven sakes they guy was almost assassinated by snack food.



You absolutely must read this report. The headline reads: Man With Headache Finds Bullet in Head. Ouch! Bad day for this guy.

Heads up for this weekend - we're going tubing. Yep that means sitting on tube for hours, floating down some river, some where, baking in the sun and drinking "beverages" out of a floating cooler. I can't even begin to express how freaking AWESOME it's going to be ... as long as it doesn't rain that is. I'd say I'll make sure to get pictures but there's no way I'm risking bringing Kris' camera out on the river. At the end of the trip, he'd be looking for it, I'd have to tell him it's at the bottom of the river and I'd subsequently loose my ability to eat solid foods for a while. No really, he doesn't beat me, just ignore the black eye.... I fell, yeah that's it I fell. I will however, make sure to grab a snap shot of Kris in summer appropriate attire before we leave because this is a once in a life time event. I think, I mean I'm pretty sure he's even going to take off his boots for the day and wear .... sandals! Yes, I know, I'm sorry you're going to have to miss seeing this historical event in person. And no babe, I won't let Adam cut off your legs to get the boots off. Too much blood involved and I like a man that can walk.

Then later this week - it's vacation time and I'm headed to the dream vacation destination New Hampshire. Okay, so it's more like I have nightmares about this place but it's where my family is and where they are is when I want to be hundreds of miles away. I MEAN... oops cat is out of the bad. So really I'm only heading back to my home town to get free food and "miss you" money from my parents but I figure I'll get to lay by the pool, do the Corcoran Family reunion thing later that weekend and of course do what always happens when you get a bunch of drunk Irish misfits together - sing karaoke!

I realize by now it must seem that I live like a rock star and it would be true if only I had the money, the clothes, the cars, the house(s), and all that fame. But other than that, yes I am a rock star in my own world.

This time tomorrow I'll be as red as a lobster, water logged and drunk with happiness. Yes happiness, that's it.

Drive safe folks, and please roll down your windows if you're going to leave your dog or child in the car. But if you're leaving both, make sure to dangle food between them and watch them fight!

PS-


pjgrammy - thanks for the compliment and the overly personal information. I'll see you Tuesday night and you better have your clothes on!


6.27.2007

My boss and Paris Hilton

Alright - another post comprised mostly of ramblings partly due to the fact that I've spent a good portion of my day re-editing letters for minuet, insignificant, and over all stupid details AFTER they were already okayed by the person now asking that I re-edit them for the thousandth time. All this while being constantly interrupted by the phone ringing which doesn't sound so bad now, but if you were anticipating the kinds of questions that I am, you'd also be ready to take a sledge hammer to the damn phone and then toss it out the window. No, we will not come to your house to cut up your tree that fell in your yard no matter how old or just plain lazy you are. No, we will not pay for flood damage to your million dollar home because you were on vacation in the tropics and were unable to sand bag your foundation, we're sorry the rain gods aren't answering our emails right now and continue to rain their godly torrents no matter how many times we put "READ ME" in the subject line. And no, I do not like green eggs and ham no matter where it's being served SO STOP ASKING! Okay, so I made that last one up. No one has actually asked me that question....yet.

Something I am completely informed of and ready to complain about however, is the fact that Paris Hilton was let out of jail today. Come on people, can't we lock her away for life just for being stupid and dimensioning the over all quality of life for people world wide? Or, at the very least, can we have her sterilized so that future generations do not have to be plagued with the disease that is "Simple Life" or in her prospective child's case "Simple Life, Jr"? Not that I , an intelligent brunette as most of us are, have anything against the blond haired people of this world, but it's been my experience that any blond with a name like Paris, Candy or any other such names strung out stripper mothers have come up with, are with out question or further evaluation needed, dumb. Especially if they listen to country music and can't understand why Alaska and Hawaii have such different climates because "they're right next to each other" (thanks Kris, I stole your story but that's what girlfriends are for right?). Thankfully my strung out stripper mom was nice enough to pass her dark hair genes onto me and be slightly more sober than usual so she didn't write down the first word that popped into her head on the birth certificate. And Mom, if you're reading this, of course I know you weren't actually a stripper :)

More to come later but I can't promise that it's going to be any more interesting and in all probability, the quality of content will diminish as the week progresses and you can guarantee you won't be able to read my posts by the time weekend is in full swing. Unless, you have your beer goggles on to. hehehe.

6.25.2007

#1

Oh wow, this is the first post! This post will set the standard for all future posts and lead them farther than any posts have ever gone before!

Or it will just be the little bit of rambling I can get in before it's FINALLY time to leave work....

I don't have much to say right now other than I should have listened to my instincts and called in sick today. A piece of advise that you didn't ask for - no matter how late you stay up Sunday night, Monday will eventually come, greeting you with the lovely sounds of an alarm clock and the impending Monday doom that awaits every 9-5 worker. And no I don't have "a case of the Mondays" (go Office Space), I have a case of the "I need to win the lottery or marry a rich guy so I don't have to do this for the rest of my life"... I just keep my fingers crossed that some long lost, disgustingly wealthy relative kicks the bucket and picks me to inherit their fortune (I say long lost because as far as I know, no one in my family has nearly enough money to make me happy and if they did, at this point in the game I doubt I could do anything to get in their will). And hey, that's a good reason to be nice to everyone you meet because you never know if they might be in the midst of editing their will.

Well it's time for me too look busy while I gather my things so I can hit the floor running when that clock turns to 5.

About Me

My photo
I'm a woman in my mid 20s living alone in a less than fantastic apartment with a dog that has chronic allergies. For the first time in my adult life I’m nobody’s other which means killing spiders and shoveling snow all on my own. I’m the baby of a “Brady Bunch” family with 3 brothers and a sister all of which are married with children and I take great joy in being an aunt and not a mother.; at this point any how. I’m not your typical girl although I do girly things from time to time. I love to write, hence this blog and Paper Seduction, my poetry site. And I’m just trudging through life, finding fun and hoping the universe gives me a break … of any kind.